I just noticed that I haven't blogged for ages. Well, a lot has happened in the past 6 weeks. My business opened.
I thought I would have a lot of time for writing as I would just be starting up. The answer to that is 'nope!'.
The great news is that I've been VERY busy. I haven't had much time to do anything.
But the weird news is the lovely writing group I joined in Lethbridge is not so lovely. Well part of it isn't.
There was a main group and a sub-group. The fiction sub-group is full of many enthusiastic and wonderful people. But the main group is led by someone who thinks that independent thinking is not allowed. I found out she set up the group to be worshiped and I'm just not the worshiping type.
So the fiction sub-group has become it's own group and I and a few others have been banned from the other group. Yes, banned. I never thought I was a rabble-rouser, but apparently I am :)
It is strange to be ousted. But it's for the best. Our fiction sub-group is full of a lot of like-minded people, so we'll see what happens there.
As for Belize, I think I'm coming for a visit in May. I'm going to get my PADI certification over the winter and then go for a scuba/relaxing holiday in Glover's Atoll and in Hopkins. Can't wait.
As for the Belly Belly Belize Account, it is a whopping $759. At $15/pound, you can probably figure out how much weight I've lost in the past 4 months, but I'll tell you anyway. I have lost 50.6 pounds! I have a lot more to lose but now I'm back to the weight I was 2 years ago.
So life is very good! I'll keep you updated more regularly from now on.....
Showing posts with label MediumSizedTown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MediumSizedTown. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Belly Belly, Bruised Ego and Business
Well, I finished my Self Employment course this week. Got a graduation certificate and all. For all of the eight weeks, as a group, we have intermingled and been tolerant of each other for the most part. A little griping here and there but not too much.
So it was a little shocking to my system on the very last day when IdealistGuy almost bit my head off. We were in a group meeting about problem solving. He walked into the meeting with a black cloud over him. He was disinterested in the exercise at first, and then he got involved. I suggested something at one point, and he said something to the effect that it may not be valid. I may have not hidden all of the exasperation in my voice when I said 'Well, if you've got a better idea, please tell us.'
Like I said, I may not have hidden all the exasperation, but it was not enough to merit the abuse, abruptness and rudeness that followed. I got up to leave at one point and he, thankfully left instead. I was so upset that I cried in front of the other two members of the group immediately after IdealistGuy left. Then I regained some pride and went to the washroom to finish crying. I have a thing about losing control of my emotions in front of people.
The funny thing is that I was a supporter of IdealistGuy and his ideas. I was even going to offer to help him on his website that very day. He doesn't have much money left and he needs a website for his company as he wants to do sales through it. I'm glad that I didn't now. As petty as that seems, I am.
My good angel says that he's working for a good cause. My bad angel says 'screw him'. Figuratively, not literally, that is.
Sigh. It took me two days to become calm and myself again. And it put a damper on the whole course.
As for Belly Belly, I've lost over 30 pounds. That sounds like a lot but considering I would ideally like to lose over 100, it's a drop in the ocean. At least it's a start though.
Good news! My business opens on Tuesday. I'll be open Tuesdays-Saturdays. I have 1 trade (with my physical trainer), 2 x one hour massages and 2 x half hour massages for next week all ready. Yay! So excited. So scared! :)
Well that's all for now. More later....
So it was a little shocking to my system on the very last day when IdealistGuy almost bit my head off. We were in a group meeting about problem solving. He walked into the meeting with a black cloud over him. He was disinterested in the exercise at first, and then he got involved. I suggested something at one point, and he said something to the effect that it may not be valid. I may have not hidden all of the exasperation in my voice when I said 'Well, if you've got a better idea, please tell us.'
Like I said, I may not have hidden all the exasperation, but it was not enough to merit the abuse, abruptness and rudeness that followed. I got up to leave at one point and he, thankfully left instead. I was so upset that I cried in front of the other two members of the group immediately after IdealistGuy left. Then I regained some pride and went to the washroom to finish crying. I have a thing about losing control of my emotions in front of people.
The funny thing is that I was a supporter of IdealistGuy and his ideas. I was even going to offer to help him on his website that very day. He doesn't have much money left and he needs a website for his company as he wants to do sales through it. I'm glad that I didn't now. As petty as that seems, I am.
My good angel says that he's working for a good cause. My bad angel says 'screw him'. Figuratively, not literally, that is.
Sigh. It took me two days to become calm and myself again. And it put a damper on the whole course.
As for Belly Belly, I've lost over 30 pounds. That sounds like a lot but considering I would ideally like to lose over 100, it's a drop in the ocean. At least it's a start though.
Good news! My business opens on Tuesday. I'll be open Tuesdays-Saturdays. I have 1 trade (with my physical trainer), 2 x one hour massages and 2 x half hour massages for next week all ready. Yay! So excited. So scared! :)
Well that's all for now. More later....
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Prolific I am NOT, Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting and MEN
Prolific I am NOT
Well, I tried to have some goals about writing, but unfortunately I am not abiding by my rules. Part of the problem is that I am busy setting up the business and going to the Self-Employment course. The other part of the problem is the glowy box in the corner.
I am busy, but when I get home to my parent's house I watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with my parents. I only watch it here. I have NEVER watched it on my own. But it is fun watching it with Mom and Dad. And then you get sucked in. Staying on the couch is much more appealing after sitting there for awhile...
Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting
I have mentioned before that I have a lot of weight to lose. Well, the Belly Belly Belize account is now a respectable $411. I hope I can keep affording to pay myself. Otherwise, that's another debt I'm incurring.
As for the Frugalista account, well, it's almost all gone. Sigh. But the Frugalista 2.0 account is getting healthy. So far I have saved $717.26. Hopefully I won't have to dip into that at all. But when starting up a business, who knows?
MEN
My little crush on IdealistGuy is over with. Thankfully. He's nice but I don't think I could live up to his standards. He expects a lot of people. And that's great, but it also darkens the rose-coloured glasses into a burgundy. So no more crush.
As for HomeTownGuy, well I am a walking, driving and sometimes sitting contradiction. I think about him, but I don't want to think about him. Well, until I indulge myself and let myself think about him.
I saw him working (he's a labourer outside and works for MediumSizedTown) yesterday morning. My heart sped up in anticipation as I knew I had to drive by him. But I pretended not to see him. Sophmoric? Well, yes, but it was also a measure of self-protection.
You see, if I let myself watch him, one of two things would have happenned. 1) I would have waited for him to see me, and if he didn't I would have been disappointed. 2) Same scenario as number 1, but he would have seen me and waved. Then I would be hooped. Getting him out of my head after that would require a lobotomy.
I have an obsessive nature. Not in a bunny-boiler/Glen Close/Fatal Attraction sort of way, but dangerous to myself. I fixate. My brain cycles, it's sort of like a CD on repeat play. And it's strange.
Like I said, when I'm not in MediumSizedTown, I don't think of him at all. It's like his brain waves activate mine. I KNOW that doesn't actually happen, but there's something in my makeup that makes my thought patterns work this way.
The answer to all this? Well, I am against getting a lobotomy. So I just have to stop indulging myself.
The strange thing is, I don't even really don't like him anymore. Not in that way. He's just a habit. Well I kicked smoking about 5 years ago, so I can kick him (but not to the kerb, that's just cruel :)).
I think celibacy is rotting my brain.....
Well, I tried to have some goals about writing, but unfortunately I am not abiding by my rules. Part of the problem is that I am busy setting up the business and going to the Self-Employment course. The other part of the problem is the glowy box in the corner.
I am busy, but when I get home to my parent's house I watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with my parents. I only watch it here. I have NEVER watched it on my own. But it is fun watching it with Mom and Dad. And then you get sucked in. Staying on the couch is much more appealing after sitting there for awhile...
Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting
I have mentioned before that I have a lot of weight to lose. Well, the Belly Belly Belize account is now a respectable $411. I hope I can keep affording to pay myself. Otherwise, that's another debt I'm incurring.
As for the Frugalista account, well, it's almost all gone. Sigh. But the Frugalista 2.0 account is getting healthy. So far I have saved $717.26. Hopefully I won't have to dip into that at all. But when starting up a business, who knows?
MEN
My little crush on IdealistGuy is over with. Thankfully. He's nice but I don't think I could live up to his standards. He expects a lot of people. And that's great, but it also darkens the rose-coloured glasses into a burgundy. So no more crush.
As for HomeTownGuy, well I am a walking, driving and sometimes sitting contradiction. I think about him, but I don't want to think about him. Well, until I indulge myself and let myself think about him.
I saw him working (he's a labourer outside and works for MediumSizedTown) yesterday morning. My heart sped up in anticipation as I knew I had to drive by him. But I pretended not to see him. Sophmoric? Well, yes, but it was also a measure of self-protection.
You see, if I let myself watch him, one of two things would have happenned. 1) I would have waited for him to see me, and if he didn't I would have been disappointed. 2) Same scenario as number 1, but he would have seen me and waved. Then I would be hooped. Getting him out of my head after that would require a lobotomy.
I have an obsessive nature. Not in a bunny-boiler/Glen Close/Fatal Attraction sort of way, but dangerous to myself. I fixate. My brain cycles, it's sort of like a CD on repeat play. And it's strange.
Like I said, when I'm not in MediumSizedTown, I don't think of him at all. It's like his brain waves activate mine. I KNOW that doesn't actually happen, but there's something in my makeup that makes my thought patterns work this way.
The answer to all this? Well, I am against getting a lobotomy. So I just have to stop indulging myself.
The strange thing is, I don't even really don't like him anymore. Not in that way. He's just a habit. Well I kicked smoking about 5 years ago, so I can kick him (but not to the kerb, that's just cruel :)).
I think celibacy is rotting my brain.....
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Clinic and Other Odds and Sods
As I've stated before, I am taking a self-employment course. I have also found a premises to operate from.
So, as time has passed, there is more and more work piling up on the self-employment course, and in addition to that I have more and more work to get the clinic up and running. So I am working virtually non-stop.
I say virtually because I had a month off - well closer to three weeks off before I started the course. Before I moved from Medicine Hat to MediumSizedTown, I was working three jobs and usually 60-80 hours of work per week.
So compared to now, I'm only working about 55-60 hours a week. So less than I was before. But I got spoiled during my time off. I am used to a slower lifestyle now.
In regards to writing I have not kept it up. I am hoping that once I open the clinic I will have more time; at least initially before I build up a clientelle. Then I can work on my novel.
I am going to my writing groups so I have some accountability and I also learn things from them.
As for the Belly Belly Belize account, I currently have $321.00. So at least that is a small amount that I have towards my trip to Belize next May or June. Since I am paying myself $15/lb, you can figure out how much I have lost so far! :)
As for my Frugalista account, well, it's dwindling. I have about $1500 left. And that will probably all go to opening costs of my clinic. So the Frugalista account has become the Shareholder account that I transfer funds into my business account.
But I have started a Frugalista 2.0 account, and have saved $382.26 so far.
On a side note, I am coping with my high libido and lack of outlet. I have gone off IdealistGuy. He's incredibly nice, but I could see him easily driving me crazy. He's so passionate about his cause. I find that very attractive. But I also find that he is blinkered. He also presents opinions as facts. Don't get me wrong, I really like him, but the lust has worn off.
As for HomeTownGuy, well he will always be a part of my past. Just like SSgt Blue Eyes. But I have found a technique that works when I find myself fixating on him. I think of it as an attack from an external source (even though it probably is internal). I use a visualisation technique that blocks me from thinking of him. It works. Every once and awhile, I indulge myself and let myself think about him, but not very often.
So, as time has passed, there is more and more work piling up on the self-employment course, and in addition to that I have more and more work to get the clinic up and running. So I am working virtually non-stop.
I say virtually because I had a month off - well closer to three weeks off before I started the course. Before I moved from Medicine Hat to MediumSizedTown, I was working three jobs and usually 60-80 hours of work per week.
So compared to now, I'm only working about 55-60 hours a week. So less than I was before. But I got spoiled during my time off. I am used to a slower lifestyle now.
In regards to writing I have not kept it up. I am hoping that once I open the clinic I will have more time; at least initially before I build up a clientelle. Then I can work on my novel.
I am going to my writing groups so I have some accountability and I also learn things from them.
As for the Belly Belly Belize account, I currently have $321.00. So at least that is a small amount that I have towards my trip to Belize next May or June. Since I am paying myself $15/lb, you can figure out how much I have lost so far! :)
As for my Frugalista account, well, it's dwindling. I have about $1500 left. And that will probably all go to opening costs of my clinic. So the Frugalista account has become the Shareholder account that I transfer funds into my business account.
But I have started a Frugalista 2.0 account, and have saved $382.26 so far.
On a side note, I am coping with my high libido and lack of outlet. I have gone off IdealistGuy. He's incredibly nice, but I could see him easily driving me crazy. He's so passionate about his cause. I find that very attractive. But I also find that he is blinkered. He also presents opinions as facts. Don't get me wrong, I really like him, but the lust has worn off.
As for HomeTownGuy, well he will always be a part of my past. Just like SSgt Blue Eyes. But I have found a technique that works when I find myself fixating on him. I think of it as an attack from an external source (even though it probably is internal). I use a visualisation technique that blocks me from thinking of him. It works. Every once and awhile, I indulge myself and let myself think about him, but not very often.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Little Crushes We Get
So, since I am not allowing myself to fixate on SSgt Blue Eyes, my mind wanders and gets a little crush on one of the guys in my self-employment class. He's intelligent, a social activist, and I think he has a girlfriend. I'll call him IdealistGuy.
Even if he didn't have a girlfriend he would be the wrong guy for me. Better than SSgt Blue Eyes, but still not a good fit.
Then there's HomeTownGuy. This is a man I've had a crush on since high school. Whom I don't think about until I'm in a 1 km radius of him. He never crosses my mind unless I'm visiting or living in MediumSizedTown. He's a hockey player, he was popular, and he tends to date women at least 10 years younger than he.
I'm convinced that we've always had a mutual attraction for each other. But maybe I'm wrong. I think that he has always been under the impression that I wanted to 'date' him. Which I haven't. We have nothing in common. I am physically attracted to him and all I wanted was to have a fling with him to get him out of my system. But I've never had the balls to tell him that.
The thing with HomeTownGuy is that he lacks character, and that has become more and more apparent to me as the years have past. I think he is the type of guy that can never go against the grain. And I can't respect that. So my attraction to him has diminished cerebrally, and as I'm a woman, that has made an impact on my lust for him. The lust is not totally gone, but mostly. There's some lust memory left. Years and years of attraction doesn't disappear overnight. Unfortunately.
So, at the moment, it's safe to fantasize about IdealistGuy.
What I do wonder about myself is why I need to focus on a man at all. I have agreed to be celibate for the next little while. Which hasn't been hard. I have not been with anyone in that way since October of 2008. So it shouldn't be that hard to continue. I may even forget what it's like.
Why do I focus on men? I don't know. I should be perfectly happy on my own. And most of the time, I am . Except when I'm not....
Even if he didn't have a girlfriend he would be the wrong guy for me. Better than SSgt Blue Eyes, but still not a good fit.
Then there's HomeTownGuy. This is a man I've had a crush on since high school. Whom I don't think about until I'm in a 1 km radius of him. He never crosses my mind unless I'm visiting or living in MediumSizedTown. He's a hockey player, he was popular, and he tends to date women at least 10 years younger than he.
I'm convinced that we've always had a mutual attraction for each other. But maybe I'm wrong. I think that he has always been under the impression that I wanted to 'date' him. Which I haven't. We have nothing in common. I am physically attracted to him and all I wanted was to have a fling with him to get him out of my system. But I've never had the balls to tell him that.
The thing with HomeTownGuy is that he lacks character, and that has become more and more apparent to me as the years have past. I think he is the type of guy that can never go against the grain. And I can't respect that. So my attraction to him has diminished cerebrally, and as I'm a woman, that has made an impact on my lust for him. The lust is not totally gone, but mostly. There's some lust memory left. Years and years of attraction doesn't disappear overnight. Unfortunately.
So, at the moment, it's safe to fantasize about IdealistGuy.
What I do wonder about myself is why I need to focus on a man at all. I have agreed to be celibate for the next little while. Which hasn't been hard. I have not been with anyone in that way since October of 2008. So it shouldn't be that hard to continue. I may even forget what it's like.
Why do I focus on men? I don't know. I should be perfectly happy on my own. And most of the time, I am . Except when I'm not....
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Weight Watchers and the CaRWA; Frugalista on Pause
Well, it's been three weeks and I've lost about 12 lbs. It's a drop in the ocean as I have a lot to lose. But it's a start. And this time I'm much calmer about the road ahead. It is a life change this time, not a diet.
The only irritation is the Weight Watchers leader, who is one of those people that call you 'dear' in a quite condescending way. And her meetings are boring. I usually try to stay for the meetings. Her's are dull and she doesn't really work on highlighting the achievements of her group of people.
Oh well, there are worse things!
I have been going to the gym three times a week for the past three weeks and I am starting to improve my fitness. The lady who owns the gym is willing to trade massages for training sessions. So once I am up and running, I will get my arse kicked by a trainer. Yay!
On Thursday night I drove up to Calgary to go to the Calgary Romance Writer's of America meeting (CaRWA). Don't let the 'Romance' fool you. These are a bunch of serious ladies, and a couple of men, determined to be published or are published. It is a great group to join as there are a lot of networking opportunities. In October, you get to pitch to a real agent and talk to an editor.
Lastly, I am not posting Frugalista stuff for a bit now, as I am spending some money and getting EI. My account is fluctuating a lot and will be for the next few months. Hopefully, I will be able to start saving again soon!
Life in MediumSizedTown is good, so far. The massage clinic opens in the middle of July and I am happier than I have been for a long time.
I have given myself permission to give up on SSgt Blue Eyes. I know he is a player, but until I've got someone tangible in front of me, I know he'll be in the back of my mind. I have an obsessive nature that way. And since it is unlikely I will meet anyone in the near future, I will probably still think of him from time to time. Unfortunately.
The only irritation is the Weight Watchers leader, who is one of those people that call you 'dear' in a quite condescending way. And her meetings are boring. I usually try to stay for the meetings. Her's are dull and she doesn't really work on highlighting the achievements of her group of people.
Oh well, there are worse things!
I have been going to the gym three times a week for the past three weeks and I am starting to improve my fitness. The lady who owns the gym is willing to trade massages for training sessions. So once I am up and running, I will get my arse kicked by a trainer. Yay!
On Thursday night I drove up to Calgary to go to the Calgary Romance Writer's of America meeting (CaRWA). Don't let the 'Romance' fool you. These are a bunch of serious ladies, and a couple of men, determined to be published or are published. It is a great group to join as there are a lot of networking opportunities. In October, you get to pitch to a real agent and talk to an editor.
Lastly, I am not posting Frugalista stuff for a bit now, as I am spending some money and getting EI. My account is fluctuating a lot and will be for the next few months. Hopefully, I will be able to start saving again soon!
Life in MediumSizedTown is good, so far. The massage clinic opens in the middle of July and I am happier than I have been for a long time.
I have given myself permission to give up on SSgt Blue Eyes. I know he is a player, but until I've got someone tangible in front of me, I know he'll be in the back of my mind. I have an obsessive nature that way. And since it is unlikely I will meet anyone in the near future, I will probably still think of him from time to time. Unfortunately.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Sucked in by SSgt Blue Eyes Again, Belly, Massage Galore and a Wonderful Group of Writers
Things are really going swimmingly at the moment. I have found a premises for a reasonable rent. I am starting my self-employment course on Monday which runs for three days a week for eight weeks. But the greatest thing is that I can continue to collect unemployment for the remainder of my claim while I am setting up my business.
So I am moving all of my equipment in on the 2nd of July. And should be open for business soon after that!
Another bit of good news. I finally, after 8 weeks of waiting, will finally get my first unemployment cheque on Monday. Unfortunately there are so many deductions taken out of it that it only amounts to just over $400, but at least I can start replenishing my savings.
As for Belly Belly, I went to Weight Watchers this week and am down 4.4 pounds. It's going to be a long haul, but I've lost almost 8 pounds so far - that's a good start at least.
I also am going to the gym three days a week, and it feels good to to aerobic and weight training again!
I formerly stated that I joined a writer's group in Lethbridge. Last Tuesday I went to the Fiction Writer's Sub-Group and it was bloody fantastic. All writers are looking to be published and dedicated to writing. They will be so good for feedback and accountability!
As for SSgt Blue Eyes, I am such a numpty when it comes to him. I started talking to him online again. And after about a week of messages and online chats, he disappears offline. Again. Repeating history. So he's either playing mind games, is with someone else, or has a wife that I don't know about. I ALWAYS promise myself not to get sucked in again by him, and he always does.
So hopefully I will find myself a living, breathing distraction by the end of the summer, after I lose a bit more weight :) I don't think that I want a long term relationship again. Hmm, well if I do, it will have to be a flexible relationship. And someone who would not be adverse to moving down to Belize. That's a tall order! Possible, but very improbable.
So I am moving all of my equipment in on the 2nd of July. And should be open for business soon after that!
Another bit of good news. I finally, after 8 weeks of waiting, will finally get my first unemployment cheque on Monday. Unfortunately there are so many deductions taken out of it that it only amounts to just over $400, but at least I can start replenishing my savings.
As for Belly Belly, I went to Weight Watchers this week and am down 4.4 pounds. It's going to be a long haul, but I've lost almost 8 pounds so far - that's a good start at least.
I also am going to the gym three days a week, and it feels good to to aerobic and weight training again!
I formerly stated that I joined a writer's group in Lethbridge. Last Tuesday I went to the Fiction Writer's Sub-Group and it was bloody fantastic. All writers are looking to be published and dedicated to writing. They will be so good for feedback and accountability!
As for SSgt Blue Eyes, I am such a numpty when it comes to him. I started talking to him online again. And after about a week of messages and online chats, he disappears offline. Again. Repeating history. So he's either playing mind games, is with someone else, or has a wife that I don't know about. I ALWAYS promise myself not to get sucked in again by him, and he always does.
So hopefully I will find myself a living, breathing distraction by the end of the summer, after I lose a bit more weight :) I don't think that I want a long term relationship again. Hmm, well if I do, it will have to be a flexible relationship. And someone who would not be adverse to moving down to Belize. That's a tall order! Possible, but very improbable.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Belly Belly and MediumSizedTown
Well, last Thursday I went to Weight Watchers. It was in a small town north of MediumSizedTown. Unfortunately, it was the last meeting they were holding due to low enrollment numbers.
But the former group leader gave me the intro book and I (and my mother) have been counting points. The next meeting is in Lethbridge this Wednesday.
Also in Lethbridge, I have a Writer's Group Meeting tommorrow.
And tonight, I am looking at a premises in town. I think it would be ideal, but the price has got to be right too. I have seen one other place that is not quite right, but the price is very affordable.
Plus, last weekend I met up with old friends and had a great time. Drove up to Okotoks and had a barbeque. I stayed over and then went to Calgary the next day to have coffee with a friend.
So, my life is looking up. Now I just have to get writing more regularly and then finally get published and I will be well on track for Belize in 2015!
But the former group leader gave me the intro book and I (and my mother) have been counting points. The next meeting is in Lethbridge this Wednesday.
Also in Lethbridge, I have a Writer's Group Meeting tommorrow.
And tonight, I am looking at a premises in town. I think it would be ideal, but the price has got to be right too. I have seen one other place that is not quite right, but the price is very affordable.
Plus, last weekend I met up with old friends and had a great time. Drove up to Okotoks and had a barbeque. I stayed over and then went to Calgary the next day to have coffee with a friend.
So, my life is looking up. Now I just have to get writing more regularly and then finally get published and I will be well on track for Belize in 2015!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Sorry it's Been So Long, This Will Be a Mixed Bag
Okay to start out with I have to say that I did have quite a Frugalista Count-down in the past month. Living expenses, moving, etc. I am still waiting on EI. So I now have a balance of $3,555.19. That's a loss of $1311.33. And I may have to lose some more later when opening up my business.
So a week ago, we loaded up the UHaul and moved everything back to MediumSizedTown. Then I went back to Medicine Hat for a week and worked at the bar until the end of the month. I camped out in my house until Monday.
But, I am now living at my parents, and things are going quite well so far. I told my mother about my plan to retire in Belize and she thought it was a good plan. So that's all out in the open now.
As for SSgt Blue Eyes, it turns out he wasn't here. I recently talked to him online and he just was returned to that regiment and there wasn't a job for him on the battlegroup. So he stayed in Germany.At least we've cleared that up now. And happy that I haven't seen him. Even happier he hasn't seen me at my enlarged state.
This may be delusional self-talk, but I think I finally have my relationship with him under control. It is never
going to be more than it is. I just have to keep realising that fact and it will all be fine.
About my belly belly; I've always been big girl, but I did ALOT of grief eating after my brother's death. Now that I'm back in MediumSizedTown, I'm joining Weight Watchers. There's a group in a town 20 mins north of here that meets on Thursdays. So here I come Weight Watchers. And there will go the belly!
As for starting my own business in MediumSizedTown, I've enrolled myself in a self-employment course that people who are unemployed can take. That starts in Lethbridge on the 21st of June. It's three days a week and you can continue to collect unemployment insurance for up to 26 weeks even though you are unemployed - you don't have to claim any income.
Anyway that's all for now - more later.....
So a week ago, we loaded up the UHaul and moved everything back to MediumSizedTown. Then I went back to Medicine Hat for a week and worked at the bar until the end of the month. I camped out in my house until Monday.
But, I am now living at my parents, and things are going quite well so far. I told my mother about my plan to retire in Belize and she thought it was a good plan. So that's all out in the open now.
As for SSgt Blue Eyes, it turns out he wasn't here. I recently talked to him online and he just was returned to that regiment and there wasn't a job for him on the battlegroup. So he stayed in Germany.At least we've cleared that up now. And happy that I haven't seen him. Even happier he hasn't seen me at my enlarged state.
This may be delusional self-talk, but I think I finally have my relationship with him under control. It is never
going to be more than it is. I just have to keep realising that fact and it will all be fine.
About my belly belly; I've always been big girl, but I did ALOT of grief eating after my brother's death. Now that I'm back in MediumSizedTown, I'm joining Weight Watchers. There's a group in a town 20 mins north of here that meets on Thursdays. So here I come Weight Watchers. And there will go the belly!
As for starting my own business in MediumSizedTown, I've enrolled myself in a self-employment course that people who are unemployed can take. That starts in Lethbridge on the 21st of June. It's three days a week and you can continue to collect unemployment insurance for up to 26 weeks even though you are unemployed - you don't have to claim any income.
Anyway that's all for now - more later.....
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Philosophy 0.101
I'm getting ready to move to MediumSizedTown. I am/was really looking forward to it. But the reality has also set in and I'm getting scared.
I am leaving another chunk of my life behind and starting all over again. Which is scary, but it also makes me question whether it is the right choice. I hope it is.
It will be nice to only work one job. For the past 7 years I have been doing more than one thing. Going to college whilst having a job, holding 2-3 jobs down at the same time, etc. I'm pooped.
They say that 40 is the new 20. I'm just looking forward to not feeling my age and having a normal schedule.
But, I am moving to a smaller centre. Admittedly, it is a short drive to two cities. So it's not as if I'll be bereft of all things urban.
But living in a town changes things. You do have to watch what you say. Because if you piss off the wrong person, there goes your reputation and your business. Oh well, I think (or hope) I can handle that. I grew up in a town, so at least I have experience.
Also, this is a way that I can find time to write, finally, so I can make the biggest move in a few years - Belize!
_________________
Change of subject. I was wondering why I have been so obsessed with SSgt Blue Eyes. Up until recently, I had him firmly put in the 'dead file' folder in my brain. But I think with everything changing, that maybe I wanted 'closure' (isn't that a catch all word that means nothing and everything?).
Or maybe I just wanted to remember what it felt like to have that lust, that blush of feelings that make you feel all adolescent.
But I think that I have moved on now, or at least am almost there.
I have three more weeks here. Let's hope I make the best of them.
I am leaving another chunk of my life behind and starting all over again. Which is scary, but it also makes me question whether it is the right choice. I hope it is.
It will be nice to only work one job. For the past 7 years I have been doing more than one thing. Going to college whilst having a job, holding 2-3 jobs down at the same time, etc. I'm pooped.
They say that 40 is the new 20. I'm just looking forward to not feeling my age and having a normal schedule.
But, I am moving to a smaller centre. Admittedly, it is a short drive to two cities. So it's not as if I'll be bereft of all things urban.
But living in a town changes things. You do have to watch what you say. Because if you piss off the wrong person, there goes your reputation and your business. Oh well, I think (or hope) I can handle that. I grew up in a town, so at least I have experience.
Also, this is a way that I can find time to write, finally, so I can make the biggest move in a few years - Belize!
_________________
Change of subject. I was wondering why I have been so obsessed with SSgt Blue Eyes. Up until recently, I had him firmly put in the 'dead file' folder in my brain. But I think with everything changing, that maybe I wanted 'closure' (isn't that a catch all word that means nothing and everything?).
Or maybe I just wanted to remember what it felt like to have that lust, that blush of feelings that make you feel all adolescent.
But I think that I have moved on now, or at least am almost there.
I have three more weeks here. Let's hope I make the best of them.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Frugalista Count-up 11! And may be the Start of the Dwindle Down, too!
I got my tax return the other day, adding $2,048 to the bank account making the total $4.394.37!
But the contract to my job ended on Monday and I have a little more pay coming my way. After that, I'm moving back to MediumSizedTown and waiting for EI to kick in. I'll be living in MediumSizedTown before the end of May.
I'm planning on opening up a Massage Clinic in MediumSizedTown. There is a small business course you can take whilst on EI (Employment Insurance). I have an appointment to meet with the coordinator of the course in Lethbridge on Tuesday. Lethbridge is near MediumSizedTown. So I hope that they will let me on the course. It is three days a week for eight weeks and the next course starts at the end of June.
As for my bar job, that has slowed down because the battlegroup has gone on the field for three weeks so instead of there being 2000 soldiers on camp there are only 70. We usually have three bars open (Junior Ranks Club, Sergeant's Mess, and the Officer's Mess). Now we turn the JRC (Junior Ranks Club) into an all ranks bar for the next three weeks.
Update about SSgt Blue Eyes. I don't think he is here. He may be due to come later this year but I won't be here. Which is good news.
Good news, yes. But alas, I am female and my logic gene is not always intact when it comes to men. The logic part of me didn't want to see him, but it doesn't stop me from being disappointed in not seeing him. Got to love that internal dialogue! My best analogy for it is that I'm on a diet and he is chocolate. I miss the chocolate but know it isn't good for me.
Anyway, so starting a new life at 40. This should give me more time for the Belly and the Book, though. Working three jobs trying to make ends meet makes it harder to eat healthily, exercise and find time for writing much.
This moving and starting a new life will make the next moving and starting a new life in a few years easier, this is like a trial run, except without the great culture and weather!
But the contract to my job ended on Monday and I have a little more pay coming my way. After that, I'm moving back to MediumSizedTown and waiting for EI to kick in. I'll be living in MediumSizedTown before the end of May.
I'm planning on opening up a Massage Clinic in MediumSizedTown. There is a small business course you can take whilst on EI (Employment Insurance). I have an appointment to meet with the coordinator of the course in Lethbridge on Tuesday. Lethbridge is near MediumSizedTown. So I hope that they will let me on the course. It is three days a week for eight weeks and the next course starts at the end of June.
As for my bar job, that has slowed down because the battlegroup has gone on the field for three weeks so instead of there being 2000 soldiers on camp there are only 70. We usually have three bars open (Junior Ranks Club, Sergeant's Mess, and the Officer's Mess). Now we turn the JRC (Junior Ranks Club) into an all ranks bar for the next three weeks.
Update about SSgt Blue Eyes. I don't think he is here. He may be due to come later this year but I won't be here. Which is good news.
Good news, yes. But alas, I am female and my logic gene is not always intact when it comes to men. The logic part of me didn't want to see him, but it doesn't stop me from being disappointed in not seeing him. Got to love that internal dialogue! My best analogy for it is that I'm on a diet and he is chocolate. I miss the chocolate but know it isn't good for me.
Anyway, so starting a new life at 40. This should give me more time for the Belly and the Book, though. Working three jobs trying to make ends meet makes it harder to eat healthily, exercise and find time for writing much.
This moving and starting a new life will make the next moving and starting a new life in a few years easier, this is like a trial run, except without the great culture and weather!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Weirdness of Phasing Yourself Out..
Well, the countdown to my unemployment for my day job has started. As of April 26th, I will no longer be an IT Accountant working for BATUS.
I'm excited and very scared. I'm moving away in a few more weeks, and back in with my parents. Not an easy task for me at 40 or my parents either.
Also, opening my massage business in MediumSizedTown is scary too. What if I fail? Then is it me? Lots of insecurities dancing in my head. Sigh, only time will tell.
So I have been writing handover instructions and trying to get everything done. I'm getting overtime which will help.
I will still have my bar job and my massage clients up until the time that I leave. I will have time to pack and get ready and clean up the house so I get my large damage deposit back.
I have found that some friends have all ready phased me out and left me behind. But maybe I've done that to them, too. It's hard to know what your subconscious has been doing.
Other friends have been making more effort to spend time with me and me with them. It's been nice to know I'll be missed.
So I feel semi-transparent to some people, and vivid to others. It's a strange feeling.
And this time, I'm only moving a small distance. So until I can make my big move I will be able to visit too!
I'm excited and very scared. I'm moving away in a few more weeks, and back in with my parents. Not an easy task for me at 40 or my parents either.
Also, opening my massage business in MediumSizedTown is scary too. What if I fail? Then is it me? Lots of insecurities dancing in my head. Sigh, only time will tell.
So I have been writing handover instructions and trying to get everything done. I'm getting overtime which will help.
I will still have my bar job and my massage clients up until the time that I leave. I will have time to pack and get ready and clean up the house so I get my large damage deposit back.
I have found that some friends have all ready phased me out and left me behind. But maybe I've done that to them, too. It's hard to know what your subconscious has been doing.
Other friends have been making more effort to spend time with me and me with them. It's been nice to know I'll be missed.
So I feel semi-transparent to some people, and vivid to others. It's a strange feeling.
And this time, I'm only moving a small distance. So until I can make my big move I will be able to visit too!
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