I just noticed that I haven't blogged for ages. Well, a lot has happened in the past 6 weeks. My business opened.
I thought I would have a lot of time for writing as I would just be starting up. The answer to that is 'nope!'.
The great news is that I've been VERY busy. I haven't had much time to do anything.
But the weird news is the lovely writing group I joined in Lethbridge is not so lovely. Well part of it isn't.
There was a main group and a sub-group. The fiction sub-group is full of many enthusiastic and wonderful people. But the main group is led by someone who thinks that independent thinking is not allowed. I found out she set up the group to be worshiped and I'm just not the worshiping type.
So the fiction sub-group has become it's own group and I and a few others have been banned from the other group. Yes, banned. I never thought I was a rabble-rouser, but apparently I am :)
It is strange to be ousted. But it's for the best. Our fiction sub-group is full of a lot of like-minded people, so we'll see what happens there.
As for Belize, I think I'm coming for a visit in May. I'm going to get my PADI certification over the winter and then go for a scuba/relaxing holiday in Glover's Atoll and in Hopkins. Can't wait.
As for the Belly Belly Belize Account, it is a whopping $759. At $15/pound, you can probably figure out how much weight I've lost in the past 4 months, but I'll tell you anyway. I have lost 50.6 pounds! I have a lot more to lose but now I'm back to the weight I was 2 years ago.
So life is very good! I'll keep you updated more regularly from now on.....
Showing posts with label Yikes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yikes. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Prolific I am NOT, Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting and MEN
Prolific I am NOT
Well, I tried to have some goals about writing, but unfortunately I am not abiding by my rules. Part of the problem is that I am busy setting up the business and going to the Self-Employment course. The other part of the problem is the glowy box in the corner.
I am busy, but when I get home to my parent's house I watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with my parents. I only watch it here. I have NEVER watched it on my own. But it is fun watching it with Mom and Dad. And then you get sucked in. Staying on the couch is much more appealing after sitting there for awhile...
Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting
I have mentioned before that I have a lot of weight to lose. Well, the Belly Belly Belize account is now a respectable $411. I hope I can keep affording to pay myself. Otherwise, that's another debt I'm incurring.
As for the Frugalista account, well, it's almost all gone. Sigh. But the Frugalista 2.0 account is getting healthy. So far I have saved $717.26. Hopefully I won't have to dip into that at all. But when starting up a business, who knows?
MEN
My little crush on IdealistGuy is over with. Thankfully. He's nice but I don't think I could live up to his standards. He expects a lot of people. And that's great, but it also darkens the rose-coloured glasses into a burgundy. So no more crush.
As for HomeTownGuy, well I am a walking, driving and sometimes sitting contradiction. I think about him, but I don't want to think about him. Well, until I indulge myself and let myself think about him.
I saw him working (he's a labourer outside and works for MediumSizedTown) yesterday morning. My heart sped up in anticipation as I knew I had to drive by him. But I pretended not to see him. Sophmoric? Well, yes, but it was also a measure of self-protection.
You see, if I let myself watch him, one of two things would have happenned. 1) I would have waited for him to see me, and if he didn't I would have been disappointed. 2) Same scenario as number 1, but he would have seen me and waved. Then I would be hooped. Getting him out of my head after that would require a lobotomy.
I have an obsessive nature. Not in a bunny-boiler/Glen Close/Fatal Attraction sort of way, but dangerous to myself. I fixate. My brain cycles, it's sort of like a CD on repeat play. And it's strange.
Like I said, when I'm not in MediumSizedTown, I don't think of him at all. It's like his brain waves activate mine. I KNOW that doesn't actually happen, but there's something in my makeup that makes my thought patterns work this way.
The answer to all this? Well, I am against getting a lobotomy. So I just have to stop indulging myself.
The strange thing is, I don't even really don't like him anymore. Not in that way. He's just a habit. Well I kicked smoking about 5 years ago, so I can kick him (but not to the kerb, that's just cruel :)).
I think celibacy is rotting my brain.....
Well, I tried to have some goals about writing, but unfortunately I am not abiding by my rules. Part of the problem is that I am busy setting up the business and going to the Self-Employment course. The other part of the problem is the glowy box in the corner.
I am busy, but when I get home to my parent's house I watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune with my parents. I only watch it here. I have NEVER watched it on my own. But it is fun watching it with Mom and Dad. And then you get sucked in. Staying on the couch is much more appealing after sitting there for awhile...
Belly Belly Belize Account Bursting
I have mentioned before that I have a lot of weight to lose. Well, the Belly Belly Belize account is now a respectable $411. I hope I can keep affording to pay myself. Otherwise, that's another debt I'm incurring.
As for the Frugalista account, well, it's almost all gone. Sigh. But the Frugalista 2.0 account is getting healthy. So far I have saved $717.26. Hopefully I won't have to dip into that at all. But when starting up a business, who knows?
MEN
My little crush on IdealistGuy is over with. Thankfully. He's nice but I don't think I could live up to his standards. He expects a lot of people. And that's great, but it also darkens the rose-coloured glasses into a burgundy. So no more crush.
As for HomeTownGuy, well I am a walking, driving and sometimes sitting contradiction. I think about him, but I don't want to think about him. Well, until I indulge myself and let myself think about him.
I saw him working (he's a labourer outside and works for MediumSizedTown) yesterday morning. My heart sped up in anticipation as I knew I had to drive by him. But I pretended not to see him. Sophmoric? Well, yes, but it was also a measure of self-protection.
You see, if I let myself watch him, one of two things would have happenned. 1) I would have waited for him to see me, and if he didn't I would have been disappointed. 2) Same scenario as number 1, but he would have seen me and waved. Then I would be hooped. Getting him out of my head after that would require a lobotomy.
I have an obsessive nature. Not in a bunny-boiler/Glen Close/Fatal Attraction sort of way, but dangerous to myself. I fixate. My brain cycles, it's sort of like a CD on repeat play. And it's strange.
Like I said, when I'm not in MediumSizedTown, I don't think of him at all. It's like his brain waves activate mine. I KNOW that doesn't actually happen, but there's something in my makeup that makes my thought patterns work this way.
The answer to all this? Well, I am against getting a lobotomy. So I just have to stop indulging myself.
The strange thing is, I don't even really don't like him anymore. Not in that way. He's just a habit. Well I kicked smoking about 5 years ago, so I can kick him (but not to the kerb, that's just cruel :)).
I think celibacy is rotting my brain.....
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Little Crushes We Get
So, since I am not allowing myself to fixate on SSgt Blue Eyes, my mind wanders and gets a little crush on one of the guys in my self-employment class. He's intelligent, a social activist, and I think he has a girlfriend. I'll call him IdealistGuy.
Even if he didn't have a girlfriend he would be the wrong guy for me. Better than SSgt Blue Eyes, but still not a good fit.
Then there's HomeTownGuy. This is a man I've had a crush on since high school. Whom I don't think about until I'm in a 1 km radius of him. He never crosses my mind unless I'm visiting or living in MediumSizedTown. He's a hockey player, he was popular, and he tends to date women at least 10 years younger than he.
I'm convinced that we've always had a mutual attraction for each other. But maybe I'm wrong. I think that he has always been under the impression that I wanted to 'date' him. Which I haven't. We have nothing in common. I am physically attracted to him and all I wanted was to have a fling with him to get him out of my system. But I've never had the balls to tell him that.
The thing with HomeTownGuy is that he lacks character, and that has become more and more apparent to me as the years have past. I think he is the type of guy that can never go against the grain. And I can't respect that. So my attraction to him has diminished cerebrally, and as I'm a woman, that has made an impact on my lust for him. The lust is not totally gone, but mostly. There's some lust memory left. Years and years of attraction doesn't disappear overnight. Unfortunately.
So, at the moment, it's safe to fantasize about IdealistGuy.
What I do wonder about myself is why I need to focus on a man at all. I have agreed to be celibate for the next little while. Which hasn't been hard. I have not been with anyone in that way since October of 2008. So it shouldn't be that hard to continue. I may even forget what it's like.
Why do I focus on men? I don't know. I should be perfectly happy on my own. And most of the time, I am . Except when I'm not....
Even if he didn't have a girlfriend he would be the wrong guy for me. Better than SSgt Blue Eyes, but still not a good fit.
Then there's HomeTownGuy. This is a man I've had a crush on since high school. Whom I don't think about until I'm in a 1 km radius of him. He never crosses my mind unless I'm visiting or living in MediumSizedTown. He's a hockey player, he was popular, and he tends to date women at least 10 years younger than he.
I'm convinced that we've always had a mutual attraction for each other. But maybe I'm wrong. I think that he has always been under the impression that I wanted to 'date' him. Which I haven't. We have nothing in common. I am physically attracted to him and all I wanted was to have a fling with him to get him out of my system. But I've never had the balls to tell him that.
The thing with HomeTownGuy is that he lacks character, and that has become more and more apparent to me as the years have past. I think he is the type of guy that can never go against the grain. And I can't respect that. So my attraction to him has diminished cerebrally, and as I'm a woman, that has made an impact on my lust for him. The lust is not totally gone, but mostly. There's some lust memory left. Years and years of attraction doesn't disappear overnight. Unfortunately.
So, at the moment, it's safe to fantasize about IdealistGuy.
What I do wonder about myself is why I need to focus on a man at all. I have agreed to be celibate for the next little while. Which hasn't been hard. I have not been with anyone in that way since October of 2008. So it shouldn't be that hard to continue. I may even forget what it's like.
Why do I focus on men? I don't know. I should be perfectly happy on my own. And most of the time, I am . Except when I'm not....
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Frugalista Count-up 11! And may be the Start of the Dwindle Down, too!
I got my tax return the other day, adding $2,048 to the bank account making the total $4.394.37!
But the contract to my job ended on Monday and I have a little more pay coming my way. After that, I'm moving back to MediumSizedTown and waiting for EI to kick in. I'll be living in MediumSizedTown before the end of May.
I'm planning on opening up a Massage Clinic in MediumSizedTown. There is a small business course you can take whilst on EI (Employment Insurance). I have an appointment to meet with the coordinator of the course in Lethbridge on Tuesday. Lethbridge is near MediumSizedTown. So I hope that they will let me on the course. It is three days a week for eight weeks and the next course starts at the end of June.
As for my bar job, that has slowed down because the battlegroup has gone on the field for three weeks so instead of there being 2000 soldiers on camp there are only 70. We usually have three bars open (Junior Ranks Club, Sergeant's Mess, and the Officer's Mess). Now we turn the JRC (Junior Ranks Club) into an all ranks bar for the next three weeks.
Update about SSgt Blue Eyes. I don't think he is here. He may be due to come later this year but I won't be here. Which is good news.
Good news, yes. But alas, I am female and my logic gene is not always intact when it comes to men. The logic part of me didn't want to see him, but it doesn't stop me from being disappointed in not seeing him. Got to love that internal dialogue! My best analogy for it is that I'm on a diet and he is chocolate. I miss the chocolate but know it isn't good for me.
Anyway, so starting a new life at 40. This should give me more time for the Belly and the Book, though. Working three jobs trying to make ends meet makes it harder to eat healthily, exercise and find time for writing much.
This moving and starting a new life will make the next moving and starting a new life in a few years easier, this is like a trial run, except without the great culture and weather!
But the contract to my job ended on Monday and I have a little more pay coming my way. After that, I'm moving back to MediumSizedTown and waiting for EI to kick in. I'll be living in MediumSizedTown before the end of May.
I'm planning on opening up a Massage Clinic in MediumSizedTown. There is a small business course you can take whilst on EI (Employment Insurance). I have an appointment to meet with the coordinator of the course in Lethbridge on Tuesday. Lethbridge is near MediumSizedTown. So I hope that they will let me on the course. It is three days a week for eight weeks and the next course starts at the end of June.
As for my bar job, that has slowed down because the battlegroup has gone on the field for three weeks so instead of there being 2000 soldiers on camp there are only 70. We usually have three bars open (Junior Ranks Club, Sergeant's Mess, and the Officer's Mess). Now we turn the JRC (Junior Ranks Club) into an all ranks bar for the next three weeks.
Update about SSgt Blue Eyes. I don't think he is here. He may be due to come later this year but I won't be here. Which is good news.
Good news, yes. But alas, I am female and my logic gene is not always intact when it comes to men. The logic part of me didn't want to see him, but it doesn't stop me from being disappointed in not seeing him. Got to love that internal dialogue! My best analogy for it is that I'm on a diet and he is chocolate. I miss the chocolate but know it isn't good for me.
Anyway, so starting a new life at 40. This should give me more time for the Belly and the Book, though. Working three jobs trying to make ends meet makes it harder to eat healthily, exercise and find time for writing much.
This moving and starting a new life will make the next moving and starting a new life in a few years easier, this is like a trial run, except without the great culture and weather!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Weirdness of Phasing Yourself Out..
Well, the countdown to my unemployment for my day job has started. As of April 26th, I will no longer be an IT Accountant working for BATUS.
I'm excited and very scared. I'm moving away in a few more weeks, and back in with my parents. Not an easy task for me at 40 or my parents either.
Also, opening my massage business in MediumSizedTown is scary too. What if I fail? Then is it me? Lots of insecurities dancing in my head. Sigh, only time will tell.
So I have been writing handover instructions and trying to get everything done. I'm getting overtime which will help.
I will still have my bar job and my massage clients up until the time that I leave. I will have time to pack and get ready and clean up the house so I get my large damage deposit back.
I have found that some friends have all ready phased me out and left me behind. But maybe I've done that to them, too. It's hard to know what your subconscious has been doing.
Other friends have been making more effort to spend time with me and me with them. It's been nice to know I'll be missed.
So I feel semi-transparent to some people, and vivid to others. It's a strange feeling.
And this time, I'm only moving a small distance. So until I can make my big move I will be able to visit too!
I'm excited and very scared. I'm moving away in a few more weeks, and back in with my parents. Not an easy task for me at 40 or my parents either.
Also, opening my massage business in MediumSizedTown is scary too. What if I fail? Then is it me? Lots of insecurities dancing in my head. Sigh, only time will tell.
So I have been writing handover instructions and trying to get everything done. I'm getting overtime which will help.
I will still have my bar job and my massage clients up until the time that I leave. I will have time to pack and get ready and clean up the house so I get my large damage deposit back.
I have found that some friends have all ready phased me out and left me behind. But maybe I've done that to them, too. It's hard to know what your subconscious has been doing.
Other friends have been making more effort to spend time with me and me with them. It's been nice to know I'll be missed.
So I feel semi-transparent to some people, and vivid to others. It's a strange feeling.
And this time, I'm only moving a small distance. So until I can make my big move I will be able to visit too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
